It Takes a Little Time

Well, I am officially back to work. I returned on Thursday, November 29th, so, as of today, I have spent 8 days as a working mother. I had been doing a little bit of work from home part-time, but that didn't really count, as it didn't take me away from Jack and didn't require that I get up, get dressed, and be ready for business by a certain time of day. And it's a bit trickier than I would have thought.

The last month that I was at home taking care of Jack, there was a sort of calculus I completed to figure out what I was going to get done that day. For example, taking a shower meant that I might not be able to get an hour or work done. Surfing the web and blogging meant that the laundry might not get put away and my contacts wouldn't get put in. It's amazing how quickly I learned to assess the tasks for the day and prioritize. Apparently, this type of thinking is a common phenomenon, as one of my favorite bloggers, dooce, used to measure how well the day was going with her and her little baby by how many tasks of personal hygiene she accomplished. Another friend of mine whose children are older now said that she never has gotten more done than when she had a baby in the house because she was always trying to hurry up and get everything done before the baby woke up. So true.

Being back at work is a whole new type of math because there are so many additional tasks associated with it. It makes my old "calculus" seem like using an abacus. Not only does work require a shower and presentable clothing (read: no J-Lo velour jumpsuit), but I must pack my lunch, my work bag, my breast pump, bottles to pump into, and a cooler for milk storage. I have to get up in the morning by 6:45am at the latest, whether I have been up one or three times in the night with Jack. Once I arrive at work, I have to figure out how to balance meetings, catching up with colleagues, and getting regular work done with the need to pump frequently so that my baby has enough milk for the next day. I have to decide if I am going to use lunch to hang out with friends or run errands so I can come home earlier to my baby, who I miss desperately by 2pm or so. When I get home from work, I have a couple of hours to spend with the little man before he goes to sleep and then I decide if I will do laundry, pay bills, run to the store, or simply snuggle my husband and cat. I can't explain it in a way that doesn't sound a bit pathetic and "woe is me," even though that is not my intention. It's just adjusting to life in a different gear than it was B.J. (before Jack). You parents out there know exactly what I am talking about.

Some days it goes well. And some days, when anything unexpected comes up (like 4 inches of snow during a weekday or a car that won't start), it is very hard. I'm really glad that Nick is home with Jack right now because it gives me an opportunity to get used to the work routine without having to factor in adjustment to daycare. The boys are really enjoying their time together and Nick has figured out a good nap schedule for Jack, something I couldn't ever do.

When I was feeling a bit low the other day and lamenting to Nick about if things would ever get easier, he told me that getting used to our "new" life with Jack is like learning to play The Sims. At first, it seems impossible just figuring out how to get your character to eat, sleep, use the toilet, and not stink so bad that the neighbors don't want to speak to you. After a little while, that is a piece of cake, and you begin to socialize your Sim with the neighbors and have a little fun. A bit later, you are able to find your Sim a job, a girlfriend, and time to throw a party big enough to attract Drew Carey. I think this is a good analogy - particularly because I love The Sims and became quite good at it back in the day (after many, MANY, hours of play).

A friend at work today was listening to me talk about the adjustment and commented that just when you think you have it all figured out with the baby, it all changes. I guess that means the key is learning to expect the unexpected. And also not expecting to master a game that I haven't practiced a lot yet. I know many others have done it before me and that, and just looking at the handsome devil below, make being a working mother, wife, and oh yeah, basic human, a bit easier each day.